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Over the past ten months of 2025, I’ve read quite a few books about habit formation. And based on my own “completely unwilling to force myself” personality — plus the fact that I’ve tried every habit-tracking app and none of them worked — I’ve gained some personal insights.

Warning: If you’re someone with extremely strong discipline and execution, please… walk away!

But if you’re like me — someone with almost no willpower, full of things you want to do yet never manage to start — then I hope this article offers you even a little help.

My Habit-Building ABC

A: Define the Time and Space Context

I’ve noticed that people always think of downloading a habit-tracking app when they want to build a habit. But for people with no self-discipline — like me — it does absolutely nothing. Sometimes when I’m in a good mood, I’ll download an app, set some habit goals, use it for two or three days… and by next week, I’ve already forgotten which app I used the week before.

Last month I reread Atomic Habits and realized I had always ignored one of its core ideas: the influence of environment on behavior. Trying to control yourself through “mindset” or “willpower” is weak, whereas environment shapes and changes behavior in ways no abstract mental method can compare to. Yet many people subconsciously believe that “difficult environments” are the secret to success. You often hear things like: “People with good calligraphy can write beautifully even with a tree branch.” “People who love reading can read anywhere, even in a crowded street.” Sure, that may be true — but concluding that you must use a tree branch to practice or go to a noisy market to read is reversing cause and effect.

I’m someone who really struggles to focus on reading. Whenever I tried reading in my messy rental apartment, I found myself constantly switching between feeling uneasy and dozing off.But earlier this year, by pure accident — I was trapped in a downtown bookstore by a heavy rainstorm. Hungry and with nowhere to go, I wandered upstairs looking for a café and stumbled onto the most relaxing coffee shop I had ever encountered.

The café was filled with people reading or working on laptops, all deeply focused. Outside was the sound of rain, mixed with soft conversations, the metallic clink of the barista’s tools, and gentle jazz music. I don’t know whether it was the collective atmosphere of productivity, or a perfectly balanced white-noise environment, or simply the fact that reading books in a bookstore feels “free”…

But in just a few short hours that afternoon, I finished two books. It hit me: I wasn’t incapable of reading — I simply hadn’t found the environment that puts me in the right state. From then on, my calendar changed from “Read for 3 hours on Saturday afternoon” to “Saturday 2–5 PM, go to the bookstore.” The former usually ended with me falling asleep at home; the latter at least guaranteed I’d read a good number of pages — or at minimum, pretend to and scribble some notes. Since then, every weekend I go to the bookstore rather than force myself to read at home.

So: Find a setting, location, and ritual that makes the activity feel enjoyable, comforting, and easy to enter. Once this context becomes part of your daily life, arriving at that time and place will naturally trigger the behavior — no extra mental effort needed. Just like how waking up and walking to the bathroom to wash up is now an automatic habit: time, space, and action are perfectly aligned.

But of course, some things can’t be changed easily. For example, I don’t like washing dishes, and I don’t have a dishwasher. I still have to force myself to wash them. In this case, you can shift the perspective: Play music or a podcast you like. Put on rubber gloves. Wear a specific pair of shoes.
Even dress like you’re doing a “shift” as a cleaner in someone else’s house. It sounds silly, but clothing and sound naturally trigger a role-switch in your mind. I still don’t like washing dishes, but I’ve become more comfortable in the “dishwashing worker” role — and removing the gloves gives me that tiny feeling of liberation. This aligns with what many habit books describe as rituals or cues.

In short: think carefully about the time, place, context, and emotional state surrounding the task. Make yourself look forward to it, or at least not dread it.You can do this by: Changing the physical location — like reading and watching shows in different rooms. Creating a personal reading nook with a specific chair, pillow, lamp, or mug. Making a special housework playlist

In reality, this process isn’t easy. It requires continuous adjustments based on your lifestyle. It’s extremely personal.And yes — if you can afford it, I genuinely encourage “pay-to-win” solutions: buying comfortable equipment, tools, or setup upgrades. No habit is formed overnight. It’s a shame to blame yourself for “lack of willpower” when it’s really an environment problem.

Many of us grew up hearing: “Do you really need all that?” “Typical underachiever — always wants fancy stationery.” These beliefs unconsciously push us toward the “hard, spartan” path. If you are exceptionally strong-willed, maybe you’ll persevere. But most people will eventually burn out and give up one day. (And frankly, if you eventually buy a mechanical keyboard, you’ll probably regret not enjoying it earlier!)

B: Build Positive Feedback

Building positive feedback is a cliché topic, yet an unavoidable one. In fact, some of the elements mentioned in the previous section about environment already serve as forms of positive feedback—helping you feel good about yourself. But here, I want to talk about the positive feedback generated specifically from the habit itself (rather than the environment in which you perform it).

First of all, never underestimate the power of recording. Our brains reset every day. The good part is that we forget troubles easily; the bad part is that we also effortlessly overlook what we’ve already accomplished. Only by reviewing and comparing over time can we truly see change. Many fitness enthusiasts take mirror selfies to track progress—this is a perfect example of gaining positive feedback through accumulation and self-recognition.

Here are a few methods I personally use to gain positive feedback:

1. I treat flomo like my private Twitter, sending myself weekly summaries. The benefit of flomo is that you can attach photos and screenshots, which makes everything feel more rewarding when you look back.
2. I pinned a full-year table to my Obsidian homepage. Every time I open it, I can immediately record what I did today. Looking back over the entire year gives me strong feedback—“It’s okay I didn’t do much this month… at least last month I wrote something… it’s not too late to keep going… there are only two months left in this year anyway.”
3. Of course, checking all sorts of habit-tracking apps for their statistical reports. And remember, whenever you review your own logs, you must shamelessly say things like: “I only managed 2 days out of 7 but I’m amazing,” or “I am destined to become a master of XXX!” (Even if XXX means becoming a dishwashing master!)

Habit-tracking apps can provide positive feedback, but some habits—such as learning a language—are stubborn exceptions. Even Duolingo, with its relentless attempts to tempt me into tapping that check-in button, cannot move me on days when I want to do absolutely nothing. Why? Because I can’t see my progress. The truth is, some habits, like reading or running, naturally produce dopamine-driven positive feedback or are easily measured. But others—like learning a language, mastering an instrument, studying photography—don’t show quick results or can’t be easily quantified. That makes self-recognition much harder. In these cases, external positive feedback becomes essential.

Ever since graduating university, whenever I wanted to learn a language or a new skill, two voices in my head always argued: One said, “If you want to learn properly, find a teacher.” The other said, “There are tons of free resources online. Just self-study and save the money.” Two months ago, I accidentally attended a trial Japanese class. The unexpected emotional support the teacher offered made me feel like I needed to sign up. Some people might say, “That’s just a tactic to get your money.” But I knew clearly: With my willpower and current mental state, even if I waited until 2030, I still wouldn’t self-study Japanese properly. So hiring a teacher isn’t about gaining access to knowledge unavailable online. It’s about receiving motivation and positive feedback through interaction—turning something you kept postponing into something you genuinely enjoy. That’s also why many people prefer joining classes or hiring personal trainers rather than going to the gym alone.

Of course, positive feedback doesn’t have to come from teachers or professional coaches. Sharing with friends or telling GPT your progress can work too.

Though I must admit—based on my experience—the encouragement from friends and AI is helpful but somewhat limited. Even when they do their best to cheer me on, the feedback often feels more like emotional support than true recognition. You might still wonder: “This doesn’t feel like an objective acknowledgment of the quality of my effort.” “They’re just trying to make me feel good.”

This is why publishing your work online can be a very effective option. It pushes you to turn your habit and your accumulation into something you can share—like going from reading to writing, or from cooking to posting recipes. After I published my first article on SSPAI earlier this year, I received positive feedback from many strangers. It was magical. And it gave me the motivation to continue writing and reading—because recognition from strangers can sometimes be far more powerful than feedback from family or friends. Perhaps this is the internet in its purest form.

C: “Other Options?” “How would you know if you don’t try?”

Finally, here’s a point that slightly diverges from the mechanics of habit-building but is incredibly important: rather than obsessing over persistence itself, it’s far more valuable to understand what you actually want to gain from a habit—and then find the habit that suits you personally.

What works for others doesn’t necessarily work for you. For example, the stereotype of a disciplined person often includes getting up early to run a few kilometers. But if your goal is simply to increase physical activity, then going for a swim after work might be just as good—no need to force yourself to wake up early. Likewise, badminton, volleyball, soccer, basketball—even frisbee—are often more fun and easier to stick with than running (thanks to social interaction and the element of play). The problem is that many people hesitate because these feel “troublesome. ”This is exactly when you need to give yourself a little kick. You’ll usually discover that once you find the right direction, habit-building becomes a “downhill slope that only gets faster and easier as you roll” (see Figure 1).

Here’s an example of how I accidentally broke through my own “static friction”: A while back, the subway in my city shut down for a week, and I was forced to switch to biking five kilometers to work every day. At first, five kilometers sounded astronomical to me. But I soon realized I could actually do it—and that I arrived at work feeling more refreshed than after sitting half-asleep inside a stuffy subway car. So biking to work became a long-term habit. In other words, the only thing separating you from a good habit might simply be the first trigger. When you’re hesitant and unsure whether to try something, give yourself that push. After all, even if you try and don’t stick with it, nothing terrible happens. For example, if you decide to try running 5 km and end up miserable afterward (or don’t finish at all), swearing you’ll never run again—well, then don’t run. It’s not like you lose your legs for trying.

Now let’s combine C with the earlier A and B, and revisit the example of reading:

If your true purpose behind “I want to read more” is simply to gain new knowledge or information, then aside from reading books, you also have podcasts, audiobooks, videos, and blog articles (from places like SSPAI, of course). And reading itself can be enhanced through:

• A: Designing contexts and environments—new places, different atmospheres
• B: Strengthening positive feedback—joining events, tracking progress, sharing insights

So reading no longer has to mean sitting at home flipping pages in boredom. It can become a combination of many different options, even mutually reinforcing (see Figure 2).

Thus, persistence is not the goal. The key is to identify why you can’t persist, find alternatives, design a better context, or increase positive feedback. Maybe this weekend, impulsively signing up for a new activity or exploring a place you’ve never been will become the beginning of your next new habit.

Summary: Everything Comes Down to Overcoming Static Friction

Good habits are valuable, of course—but it’s even more precious to build an entire lifestyle system that feels healthy, comfortable, and truly your own.

The “static friction” required to start something is often immense. It may stem from fear shaped by stereotypes about certain tasks, neglect of the environment and the experience itself, a lack of positive feedback, or even anxiety about receiving negative feedback. To overcome this friction at the starting line, you need to choose habits that feel less painful to begin with, shape a supportive environment, gently “coax and trick” yourself as needed, and actively seek any form of positive reinforcement. Gradually, this new habit becomes an organic part of your lifestyle system.

If you, too, happen to be a procrastinator with limited willpower but a strong interest in time management, you might want to revisit my previous article on time-management methodology—it serves as an extension to this piece.

Finally, I hope everyone can create a small opportunity for themselves to keep doing the things they truly want to do.

ENJOY!